Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Is it wrong of me to feel uncomfortable that my friend thinks my brother is hot?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

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I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Trump says he's doubling steel and aluminum tariffs to 50% starting next week What effect could this have on the global economy? Canadian industry says new steel tariffs will cause 'mass disruption'.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I can count

I can read

When did you realize that your childhood was not normal?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I see through liars

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy bullshit

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity